Thank you for bringing a new chapter of love to one of my best friends and first love, Bea. Seeing her happy in her new relationship makes me happy as well, and I wish them the very best. Her boyfriend is absolutely receiving one of the most beautiful and talented people you have created in the Earth.
When you planned to place her in the Creative Writing family, she had little self-confidence, somewhat shy and a loner, had some strange habits like leaving balls of tissue paper behind and was sickly. I was only one of a few friends she had in Ateneo that time. I supported her along the way, lifting her up whenever she was down, literally and figuratively, encouraged her to be the best she can be, and did my best to make her happy. I even loved her fully.
Throughout the time that we were together, I saw her grow up to the person she is now, a lady beaming with confidence. She now lives a healthy lifestyle. She is now surrounded by friends and loved by everyone.
But how come I sometimes feel that I came up short at the end of this plan? We never had any major disagreements in the past that up to this day and age, I still do not know the reason why she broke up with me. During the third and fourth year in college, she became closer to those people who backstab me when I'm not around, saying all those slanderous things about me. I'm happy that she became closer to the block, and enjoyed their company. However, I felt that slowly, my best friend and loved one was slipping away. I could feel the rift slowly getting wider as days went by. I could not understand this, especially since we did not have a bad break-up.
We promised each other back then that we'd keep in touch, and tell one another if one of us found a new partner in life. We even planned that if ever, we'd attend each one's wedding. Right now, I am still single and looking, just to set the facts straight.
But now, I think she has forgotten those little things and isis living a very grandeur life without me in the picture. Probably, that's the reason why she took down her online journal after I wrote down a few comments of "how are yous" and "take cares".
Was I just a stepping stone, a transitional phase in your plan for Bea? If it is, then I'm gladly here to serve and follow your plan. I'm happy that I've met her in my life, and probably assisted her to become a better person.
She will always be my sweetie no matter what, even if she forgets about me in the future. I wish her the best, and take care of her for me, Lord.
* and i believe i have never written a blog entry before with tears in my eyes
This is the last of illusions for this chapter. I am standing in the cold after everything has been said and done. However, here I am once again, ready to accept anything you have planned for me.
It's the dawn of a new day. Make me strong.
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